Catch Me No Catch
by chaserglow
Summary: Matsumoto brings Renji for a round of sake and gets him to tell her his secret crush. But speak of the Devil, and he shall appear. Now, Renji isn't sure if his captain heard what he said, but he doesn't want to find out. RenjixByakuya. Renji-centric.


**Summary:** Matsumoto brings Renji for a round of sake and manages to get him to tell her his secret crush. But speak of the Devil, and the Devil shall appear. Now, Renji isn't sure if his captain heard what he said or not, and he doesn't really want to find out. RenjixByakuya. Renji-centric. Probably OOC.

**Disclaimer: **I don't, nor have I ever, owned Bleach.

* * *

"Renji, you need sake," Matsumoto says wisely, pulling Renji by the wrist, "Kira and I have already gotten started. Shuhei, too."

Matsumoto, Renji thinks unwillingly, is right. He needs sake. He needs a lot of sake. So Renji allows himself be pulled to Matsumoto's office, where Kira, Hisagi, and a hidden stash await.

Upon their arrival, Matsumoto immediately lets go of Renji's wrist and plops down on the floor between Kira and Hisagi, both of whom look as miserable as Renji feels. She crosses her legs and grabs the sake bottle from Kira's hand.

"Sit," she commands, and Renji does so without thinking. Matsumoto hands him the bottle and a cup and tells him to help himself. Renji does so.

After several drinks, he finally asks Kira and Hisagi, "What are your problems?"

"Hinamori-kun probably hates me," Kira says.

"My captain turned out to be a traitor," says Hisagi.

"Oh," Kira mumbles, "that too."

"What about you, Abarai?" Hisagi asks.

"Yeah, you still have Kuchiki-taichou," Kira points out.

The name of his captain sparks something in Renji's mind, something he knows but doesn't want to remember. Renji tries not to think about it.

"You were looking very forlorn before I brought you here," Matsumoto tells him, looking sympathetic.

Already having decided not to answer any questions, Renji makes a noncommittal grunt, but Matsumoto is persistent.

"Go on," she says, "I might be able to help."

"Matsumoto, don't make Abarai tell us if he doesn't want to," Hisagi reprimands.

"C'mon," Matsumoto says, ignoring Hisagi completely, "why don't you just tell Rangiku-chan all about it?" She flutters her eyelashes. Renji has to look away.

He opens his mouth to protest, but before he can utter a word, Kira interjects with, "Aizen stabbed Hinamori-kun, but she's still obsessed with him. What's so great about that traitor?" His voice is bitter, and he doesn't try to hide it.

When Matsumoto diverts her attention to Kira, Renji is suddenly thankful for his mere existence. "Kira-kun!" she whispers, hushed and dramatic, "We always knew you two were friends, but do you have a _crush_?"

Kira pauses before solemnly nodding.

"Abarai…" Hisagi says, "you owe me two thousand yen."

Suddenly remembering the bet he had made some weeks ago, Renji mutters, "Oh, damn."

"What?" Matsumoto asks, looking expectantly from Hisagi to Renji and back again.

"This guy," Hisagi explains, jabbing a thumb in Renji's direction, "bet that Izuru was in love with Gin, but I said it had to be Momo."

Matsumoto stares at Renji for a moment before she bursts out laughing. Kira, meanwhile, looks nothing short of indignant (which, Renji thinks reasonably, is only natural, considering the circumstances).

"Abarai-kun! You thought I liked my captain? Not only that, but my _male_ captain?"

Something about the way Kira says those words, with so much shock in his voice, reminds Renji just what a terrible position that is to be in. He groans and puts his head in his arms.

"Don't worry," Hisagi says, smirking, "two thousand yen isn't that much."

"Thanks for the reassurance," Renji says, voice muffled by his arms.

He lifts his head to find Hisagi and Kira sipping their sake, minds obviously elsewhere, but Matsumoto staring at him, her mouth a firm, thin line and her eyes full of suspicion.

"What?" Renji demands, suddenly furious for no apparent reason.

But Matsumoto replies only by shaking her head and crossing her arms, staring at Renji with that same suspicious stare. Renji subconsciously mimics her movements and stares back at her, trying not to blink. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Kira and Hisagi become suddenly aware of the tension in the room, and look at him and Matsumoto with mild curiosity.

"Abarai…" Matsumoto says threateningly.

It is the angriest Renji has ever heard her. He figures that she must've picked up some tips from her captain. It's too much.

"Alright, I admit it!" Renji yells, louder than necessary, "I _like_ my captain, y'know? I _really, really_ like him!"

Immediately, Matsumoto drops her act. "Good, good," she purrs soothingly, "let it all out."

Hisagi reaches absentmindedly for the bottle of sake, while Kira can only gawk. Renji is trying to avoid his eyes by looking at the empty cup in his hands when he hears the creak of a door being opened. Looking up, he sees Hitsugaya and Byakuya striding into Matsumoto's office.

Ignoring his lieutenant's prohibited sake, Hitsugaya merely says, "Matsumoto, you have work to do."

"As do you, Renji-fukutaicho," says Byakuya, "Paperwork doesn't do itself." With that, he turns on his heel and leaves as quickly as he had entered.

Renji knows that he's supposed to follow, but he can't seem to remember how to stand up. He can only sit and gape at the spot where Byakuya had been standing, a million things running through his head. 'He _probably _didn't hear _exactly _what I said' is one of the things, and 'I am so very, very screwed' is another.

Renji's train of thought is suddenly and mercifully cut off by a tugging on his left arm. With a jolt, he realizes that it's Matsumoto and that she's trying to get him to stand up. Deciding that it would be in everybody's best interest, Renji succumbs.

"Go on, Kuchiki-taichou is waiting for you," Matsumoto says, giving Renji a push in the direction of the sixth division offices.

Still feeling somewhat dazed and disbelieving, Renji shudders outwardly at the mention of his captain. He takes small, tentative steps en route to his destination, prolonging the part where he has to knock on Kuchiki-taichou's door.

"Did you hear anything?" Matsumoto finally asks her captain, long after Renji has left.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Matsumoto," Hitsugaya replies stiffly.

When Renji arrives at Byakuya's office, he gulps and licks his lips and tries to brace himself so that he can start thinking about entering. When he does start thinking about entering, it's so horrible that he almost turns around and joins the tenth division.

And then, for one wild, courageous instant, Renji decides that he's done more dangerous and terrifying things than enter his captain's office. Before he can change his mind, he turns the knob and opens the door. He regrets this almost immediately when he sees Byakuya, who doesn't even bother to look up from his paperwork.

"Yes, fukutaicho?" he says.

Renji can feel his heart beating in his chest, and he realizes that it is probably due to explode from overtax. Hoping it doesn't explode all over Byakuya's clean office, he says, "Uh, Kuchiki-taichou, about back there…"

Renji is eternally grateful when Byakuya cuts him off, because he really had no idea what his next words were going to be.

"I don't plan on asking you why you were shirking your duties by drinking sake, and I suggest you don't tell me."

Byakuya says this without glancing up once. Renji is so relieved that he could kiss him, but thankfully realizes that this would not be the wisest thing to do.

"Right," Renji says, somewhat awkwardly, "I'll just be going, then."

He does so. Later that day, as he's filling out paperwork, it suddenly strikes Renji how odd it is that Byakuya didn't reprimand him at all, when his past experiences prove that that would be the typical thing for Byakuya to do. Renji shrugs it off as luck and forgets about it.

Renji manages to forget the incident by convincing himself that Byakuya heard nothing, and, with the exception of Matsumoto asking Renji how his captain is doing whenever she sees him, the subject of that day isn't brought up for another three weeks.

"The hell are you talking about?" Renji shouts, three weeks later. "My work _is_ neat and accurate!"

"I looked over it myself," Byakuya says calmly. "It's obvious that you are speeding through so you can waste your time on leisure activities." He looks at Renji pointedly.

Renji narrows his eyes angrily. "What do you mean?"

Byakuya sighs. "This isn't the first time I've caught you dodging your work, Renji-fukutaicho," he says.

Renji splutters heatedly, unable to think of anything to say, while Byakuya merely stares at him, his features expressionless and unforgiving.

Finally, Renji mutters, "Why didn't you yell at me then, huh? Why are you only yelling at me now?"

"When and why I decide to yell at you is none—"

And then, it strikes Renji like a bolt of lightning, and it seems so obvious.

"You heard, didn't you?" he asks, cutting Byakuya off. He's fighting to keep his voice calm.

"Heard what?" Byakuya says, sounding somewhat impatient.

"Heard what I said to Matsumoto, when we were drinking," Renji explains, also sounding impatient—even more so than Byakuya—and angry. He was never good at keeping calm.

Byakuya, whose posture is already quite perfect, stands even straighter and says, rather arduously, "As a matter of fact, I did."

Renji is speechless. He can only stare at Byakuya, jaw dropped. Renji realizes that now would probably be a good time to say something, but he can't think what. He merely hopes that Byakuya will say something himself to relieve him of it.

When Byakuya doesn't, Renji mumbles, not eyeing his captain, "I didn't mean it."

"Yes," Byakuya replies, after a short pause, "you did."

As Renji looks up, embarrassed and angry, Byakuya continues, "But Soul Society has rules. And I'm done breaking the rules, Renji-fukutaicho."

Renji's eyes widen.

"Kuchiki-taicho," Renji says, taking a step forward, "I break rules all the time; I'm a horrible lieutenant. You know that." He grins.

The corners of Byakuya's mouth lift a little, almost as if involuntarily. Renji notes that he doesn't move towards him, but doesn't move away, either. Renji takes it upon himself to take another step forward, so that his face is merely inches away from Byakuya's.

As he does this, Renji notices a subtle change in Byakuya's manner. He seems to stiffen under Renji's steady watch, though his eyes and mouth stay frozen.

Hesitantly, Renji reaches a hand forward to run through his captain's hair, or something equally cheesy, but Byakuya also reaches a hand forward, and places it around Renji's wrist.

"Taicho," Renji whispers, narrowing his eyes.

Byakuya smirks as he pulls Renji a step closer by his wrist. Their faces are close, their bodies are close, and Renji has never been more aware of Kuchiki-taichou's lips. Awareness is an odd thing, Renji thinks. It makes him sweaty and nervous. But Renji stops thinking completely as those lips come in contact with his own. It's so sudden that he didn't even have a chance to mentally prepare himself.

But now it doesn't matter. Now, Renji doesn't need to think. He lets impulse guide him as he parts his lips and puts his free hand onto Byakuya's neck.

After what feels like an eternity, Renji is aware, somewhere in the back of his mind, that a door is opening. He can hear the creak. Only when Byakuya pulls back is Renji aware that someone is talking.

"Oh, Renji!" Matsumoto gushes. "I'll just drop these papers off quickly so I can let you two get back to work." She winks.

As Renji wishes that he were dead, Matsumoto swiftly drops a stack of paperwork onto Byakuya's desk and walks out the door, making a point to shut it behind her. Renji can still hear her giggles.

Back in the tenth division offices, Hitsugaya decides not to ask about Matsumoto's triumphant expression.


End file.
